Two old ladies are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. One of the old ladies pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.
Maude: What in the hell is that?
Mable: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn’t get wet.
Maude: Where did you get it?
Mable: You can get them at any drugstore.
The next day, Maude hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.
The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is, after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what brand of condom she prefers.
— Doesn’t matter, Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel.
The pharmacist fainted.
Vocabulary Help
- outside – fora
- nursing home – abrigo para idosos
- having a drink and a smoke – bebendo e fumando
- rain – chover
- pull out – retirar
- condom – camisinha
- cut off – cortar
- put it over – colocar sobre
- what in the hell is that – que diabo é isto
- wet – molhado
- drugstore – farmácia
- brand of condom – marca de camisinha
- fit on a Camel – servir em um Camelo (Camel é uma marca de cigarros)
- doesn’t matter – não importa
- faint – desmaiar
